I am used to this question and the, ‘What is wrong with these people? – I would be so embarrassed to admit I was failing’ tone that often accompanies it. The thing is, it’s the successful people, those at the top of their game, that come to coaching. Is that because there’s more wrong with them than other people? No! The thing they all have in common is that they want to learn, grow and improve in their chosen area in order to be the best they can be. Does Roger Federer need a group of coaches because he’s failing at playing tennis? I don’t think so.
It may well be that it’s an issue that initially brings people to coaching, a feeling that there has to be another way, but the people that really make coaching work for them are the ones who see and utilise the learning that comes from stopping, reflecting and challenging themselves with a trusted sparring partner supporting them.
Here are some of the most common reasons that bring people to coaching but, whatever the initial reason, you will find yourself changing old perspectives, breaking old barriers and growing your confidence and abilities to become the architect of your own, future success.
You feel stuck, your situation seems trapped and you see no way out. You tell yourself it’s impossible or too risky, think of the humiliation if you fail or even the difficult consequences that success could bring. It is as it is and you have no choice in the matter. Coaching gives you a solid, safe base from which to identify old patterns, learned behaviours, triggers and fears. It develops your awareness, provides you with the courage and support you need to recognise old habits, clarify what you really want and need to learn and grow in the way you choose.
Life just seems to happen to you. Perhaps you ‘fell’ into your job or situation that’s ‘okay, I guess’, but not really fulfilling you. You feel that there must be something more out there but haven’t found your ‘thing’ yet. Coaching helps you to recognise where you slip into autopilot; doing, saying or thinking in a certain way because ‘you should’ and helps you rediscover your spark; your passion and real desires. Learn how to raise your awareness, consider new options, take control and feel fulfilled on your terms.
You are feeling low and out of energy, yet you plod on regardless. You don’t love your situation, but know you should feel lucky and grateful. You find excuses to justify the status quo. Plodding on and suppressing your true needs for whatever reason causes your spirit, emotional and physical wellbeing to suffer. How we see things depends purely on how we look at them. Coaching helps you see what you are missing, discovers what really makes you happy, what gives you back the energy you are lacking and helps bring your balance back. Coaching helps you connect with your true reason to jump out of bed in the morning.
Coaching helps to fix things, doesn’t it, so why fix what isn’t broken? As a happy person, you are connected to yourself; your goals, values, energy reserves and passions. In other words, you are motivated, confident and open to growth, learning and possibilities. You recognise that there is a greater potential within you. You are often more engaged, motivated and eager to try new things. You are ready to move out of comfort zones and explore what else is possible.
Even if initially painful, this is a beautiful and exciting place to find yourself. You want to begin again on your own terms. Perhaps you find yourself outside your comfort zone, feeling vulnerable and uncertain. Coaching helps you discover the patterns, hooks and triggers that pull you back into old habits. Become aware of these old patterns & scripts, take your pen and write the next chapter on your own terms.
You are scared of failure and, yes, perhaps even of the consequences of success. You are concerned about what others think or say about you and beat yourself up a little when you don’t live up to their (or indeed your own) expectations. Coaching helps you notice the negative ‘saboteurs’ that twist the truth for you by trying to keep you safe in your comfort zone. It shifts your perspectives and shines a light on those hidden fears enabling you to recognise, name and face them in a safe and supportive place. Coaching offers the tools, support and courage you need to take the action you choose to take.
You feel that life is too short to let it plod on-waiting for something to happen, change or become easier before we can be happy. But it’s okay because ‘just as soon as…(fill in the gap: I retire, the kids are old enough, my boss retires, I lose the weight, I have enough money, more time…). Everything will be just fine. You are stuck in the now and justifying it in the hope that time will make tomorrow better than today. Coaching supports you in designing your goals to fit into your life today so that your future self with thank you for it.
You have way too much to do and too little time to do any of it. Your stomach ties in knots at the thought of all you have to do and all of it is urgent. You feel like running away, but then who would keep all those balls in the air if you didn’t? You simply have to skip lunch, drink more coffee, work after hours and so, so much more. You get up earlier, try to get more organized or plan better, but somehow, it’s not helping. You promise yourself a rest at the weekend that never quite materializes, but it’s only this weekend / it’s okay / I don’t mind / I can’t let the team down… Coaching stops the hamster wheel to pause for breath and really see what is going on. You learn to see each ball for what it is and take the time to reflect, learn and make the best choices for your wellbeing.
There are many different reasons for people to come to coaching, but there is a common theme running throughout-inside and out:
I – I. It’s all about you.
N – Now. The best time.
S – Support. All you need.
I – Insight. Know yourself.
D – Develop. Learn and grow.
E – Exhilaration. Yes, you can!
O – Optimize. Be the best version of you.
U – Understand. Raise your awareness.
T – Trust. Feel safe and supported.