So, Tell me What You Want; What You Really, Really Want

 

I just heard on the car radio that the Spice Girls are reuniting for six UK concert dates in 2019 to celebrate the 20-year anniversary of ‘Wannabe’. Exciting news for Girl Power fans, but one Spice will be missing-‘Posh Spice’. The presenters went on to ask listeners, “If you could advertise yourself to fill the ‘Fifth Spice’ place, what ‘Spice’ would you be?” I only heard a couple of responses before I had to get out of the car, but they were all hilarious in the typical British self-depreciation humour of seeing the reality and then laughing about the difficulty; Battered Spice, Old Spice, Round Spice, Bored Spice…

I’m curious; what would your ‘British-Humour Spice’ be right now? Stuck Spice? Stressed Spice? Overwhelmed Spice? Exhausted Spice? Lonely Spice?

This week’s blog is going to help you think about what you want; what you really, really want and get you taking your first steps on the road to your Super Spice.

So, jokes aside, what is your Current Spice? How are you feeling right now? Grab a piece of paper and being completely honest with yourself, write it down. Try out a few different Spices if you want to and choose the one that best describes you. What is your first reaction to what you see on the page? Note that next to the name.

Now turn your attention to ‘what do I want, what do I really, really want?’ If you could create your own superstar band from your ‘wants’, what would all their names be? Write them down too. How does that feel? Now imagine your single Super Spice; the one Spice in the band that you would be so thrilled to be that you could put it on stage to sing your happiness out to the world. What would their name be? Confident Spice? Satisfied Spice? Fit Spice? Sound impossible? Love them or loathe them; take a second to remember where the original 5 girls came from.

Sometimes we have an idea that, of course, that success could have been ours. Of course, we will be happier, more successful, richer, healthier etc just ‘as soon as…’ and our ‘Super Spice’ is trapped behind other people, situations, barriers or conditions beyond our control. Their microphone has been turned off and they are dancing their uncertain routine behind a huge piece of stage scenery to music they can’t quite hear with their shoelaces tied together.

If you bring your Super Spice front and centre stage and think about them as a goal that is purely about you, 100% within your control (your thoughts, actions, beliefs, values, words, emotions, choices etc) and written in the positive, what would that look like? Write down ‘I want…’ and finish the sentence with something you really, really want. Be careful of negative wants, for instance –
“I want to stop…”
Try instead, “I want to start…”

“I want less…in my life”
Try instead, “I want more…in my life” and so on.

Spice up your life

Look at your “I want…” positive statement and, with honesty but without over thinking it, give it a ‘How satisfied am I with where I am with this today’ score from 1-10 and, whatever the number (even a 1), jot down the positive things you already have: Motivation? Resources? Support? Some elements of this Super Spice already?

Let your imagination go wild! It usually helps me to close my eyes for this bit: Imagine life as your Super Spice. What would be different? What would it look like / feel like? How would your day / week / life be different? What would there be more of / less of? What would you be doing / not doing differently to today? What would you keep and let go of? What would be different about the people around you? Imagine your Super Spice at the top of their game and fill in the gap: ‘I give my future Super Spice a score of….out of 10.’ How does it feel?

Now to find the source of your Spice!

Take your “I want…” goal and ask yourself, “What it is about this goal that I want most?” and “What is it about this answer that is so important for me?”

Write down your answer and look at it. Ask yourself the same two questions. Look at those answers and ask yourself these two same questions again. Ask them again for each answer four more times to really get to the bottom of what is most important for you and what is at the core of your Super Spice goal?

Now you know the source of your goal but why now? What circumstances in your life make this goal important to you right now? What would happen if you did nothing for a year? Nothing for two or five years? What makes today the right time to start?

How motivated are you (yes, 1-10 again!) to achieve your goal? If this score is 7 or below, what do you need to raise it a level or two? What support do you need? What or who can help you? How can you prepare yourself? What do you need to do in order to raise your motivation?

Think of the score you gave to your Current Spice. What first step could you take to move that number up just one notch on the scale towards your ultimate Super Spice superstar score? What would take you two steps higher?

How achievable is this first step? Less than a 7? What can you do to make it an 8? Is the step too big? Too small? Too scary? Too far outside your comfort zone? Don’t worry, break it down and make it more achievable. The most important thing here is that you move forward positively and successfully, however, small the first step, towards your Super Spice.

You have your goal and know what it is that is so important for you about it. You know what to do, why and how, but how are you going to keep yourself accountable? How are you going to measure your success? When is your deadline for this first action step? Who or what can help you with that?

What did you learn about yourself by doing this short exercise? How can you use this insight to support your first action step and move towards your Super Spice?

Congratulations for gifting yourself the time to do this exercise!

I can’t wait to hear about your Super Spice. Let me know when you’re ready to move to the next level and you’ll find me at Inside-Out Coaching supporting future stars and empowering them to outshine even their Super Spice names.

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